She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
