make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
