I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
