I feel like abortions should bother me more
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
