i really wish james franco would like my vagina
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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