Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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