Ketchup is God's man juice
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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