Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
