I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
