And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
