i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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