508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
