my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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