would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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