Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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