But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
