Redeem this text for a blowjob
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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