yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
