Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
