Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
