Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize