We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
