Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
