I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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