True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
