Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize