Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We are all done wearing pants today
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
