How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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