Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
