PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
