Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I love having hate sex.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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