Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
