genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
