just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize