Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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