I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
