you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
