fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
