can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
