Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
