But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
