I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
