Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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