someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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