I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
