CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
