I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
