Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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