Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
