Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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