I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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