I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
