They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize