so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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