one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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