But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
