I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm like, not good at living.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
