Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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