I wish I could punch you in the face.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
