god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
