We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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