He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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