Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
